The Day 'maybe today, we will all get to appreciate'

Dear Diary,

And so I have decided to be a little if not a lot less colourful here.
















I will share less, if not more.
It might feel less personal (although I have a feeling it will be more).
















Black & white studio photoshoot by Joe Low,
image property of The Yoga Ink Sdn Bhd,
outfit from adidas by Stella McCartney




Allow me to hold back some just so that I can give more.

The Day I Turn 25. Again.

Dearest Supertall,

On my birthday,
I'm singing this, for you.

BETTER DAYS
by Goo Goo Dolls
(from the album Let Love In)



"And you asked me what I want this year,
and I'll try to make this kind and clear,
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days.

'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings,
and designer love and empty things,
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days.

So take these words and sing out loud,
'cause everyone's forgiven now,
'cause tonight's the night the world begins again.

I need some place simple where we could live,
and something only you could give,
and that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive.

And the one poor child who saved this world,
and there's ten million more who probably could,
if we all just stopped and said a prayer for them,

So take these words and sing out loud,
'cause everyone's forgiven now,
'cause tonight's the night the world begins again.

I wish everyone was loved tonight,
and somehow stop this endless fight,
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days."


Although 'I don't need boxes wrapped in strings, and designer love and empty things',
I still thank you, no, I don't know how to ever thank you for











this


















and this.


Manjakan sangat Ninie tu.

Not that I know how to use that Macbook anyway.
MAC make-up tau lah.

Can I expect a trip for us to Amsterdam
and that The Loft, Bangsar apartment we both love
for my birthday next year?

The Day 'The Boy Is..'

(Note: Entry modified and comment box removed due to sexuality sensitivity.
I thank those who commented and pointed it out nicely, anyways!)

Dear Diary,




















So two out-of-the-zone yoga instructors decided
to sing their lungs out at Red Box Plus, Pavilion one evening.

The girl shared the story of how she met her favourite local male singer the night before.
The guy replied with the story of 'his friend' used to go out with that singer.
"Kau ni, tak nak dengar cakap lah. He is not into YOU, degil betul!"

And so they chose to duet The Boy Is Mine,
dedicated especially to their jejaka idaman Malaya.

Sing along and watch out for improvisations ^TM (cue The Love Guru) by Mimie.

Mimie:
Must you do the things you do
You keep on acting like a fool
You need to know, its me not you
And you didn't know cause IT'S TRUE

Ninie:
I think that you should realize
And try to understand why
He is apart of my life
I know its killing you inside

Mimie:
You can say what you wanna say
What we have you can't take
From the truth you can't escape
I CAN TELL the real from the fake

Ninie:
When will you get the picture
Your the past I'm the future
Get away it's my time to shine
If you didn't know the boy is mine

Ninie & Mimie:
You need to give it up
Had about enough
Its not hard to see
The boy is mine

Mimie:
I'm sorry that you
Seem to be confused
He belongs to me
The boy is GAY!


Cilakak!
Potong mood jadik Brandy terbaikkkkkkkkkkkkkkk punya!
Tapi kelakar jugak lah, mereka tergelak dan tergolek adalah empat minit kat situ.

Hmmm..
Betul ke?

The Day I'm "Just Waiting Till The Shine Wears Off.."

Dear Diary,




















Betraying the yoga empire that has upgraded my life,
being rude the man who has given me a magazine to run,
letting my devoted students hanging in this time of trial,
leaving, DEVALUING myself and settling for other jobs that pay only 25% of what I usually make monthly,
are not my kind of options. For now..

To date, I have taught 6 classes at the zone this week,
despite my last full-paid salary was in April.

Some of you who read Page N26 The Star today,
might cringe and ask, "I thought you were paid for May, no?"
Take it from me, honey.
NO.

Last Saturday, I was handed RM300 from XX personally and be told, "Just so that you can have a good weekend," which I translated to, "Just so that you can keep your mouth shut and teach for us come Monday."

If you asked me,
being paid RM300 from RM1X,XXX that you are owed,
is an insult.

I will expect some jokers to leave comments such, "Orang bagi RM300 pendahuluan pun tak nak? Tak tau bersyukur betul anak Ahmad ni." Don't worry, you are not me. And you are not the God I thank / pray to and you are not the employer that owes me, so it's OK and I forgive you. Sweating the small stuff now doesn't save my car from getting towed.

Albeit, it sure did feel good teaching again that Monday,
it was heartfelt learning that your students left you an envelope-ful of money and baskets of fruits after the class ended,
and it was embarrassing having to have shed that tears after my first class this week, for I have to eat my own words, "Simply be happy that our body still moves, be grateful that the air and silence we are breathing are still free.."

Thanks to this highly participated blog,
I found myself listed as one of the surviving ' Last 16 ' that still teach without pay,
BUT I DON'T FIND THIS FUNNY ANYMORE
and I don't know how long more can I go on;
keeping a straight face when I am still being lied to,
smiling as I make you do painful twists when I am deeply hurt too,

I don't think it is for long now,
and my patience and 'believe' are wearing thin.




















I am living off this song to feed my spirit now,

Lost! COLDPLAY,
Vida La Vida (2008)

"Just because I'm losing,
Doesn't mean I'm lost,
Doesn't mean I'll stop,
Doesn't mean I will cross.

Just because I'm hurting,
Doesn't mean I'm hurt,
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve,
No better and no worse,

I just got lost,
Every river that I've tried to cross,
And every door I ever tried was locked,
Ooh-Oh,
And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off..

You might be a big fish,
In a little pond,
Doesn't mean you've won,
'Cause along may come,
A bigger one,
And you'll be lost.

Every river that you tried to cross,
Every gun you ever held went off,
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing starts,
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off.."

(Lost! accoustic version)