The Day Impossible Is Nothing, Really

Dear Diary,

Every year, I set a realistic target for myself
to achieve a couple of almost-impossible yoga poses (asanas).

2006

Peacock Pose (Mayurasana)










Photo by Joe Low







Wide-Legged Headstand (Hanumasana in Sirsasana)




















2007

Unsupported Scorpion Pose (Vrkchikasana I)





















Photo by Tom Hayton




Side Plank Split (Hanumasana in Vasisthtasana)





















Photo by Tom Hayton from PRANAmag April 2008
















Photo by Napie




2008

Unsupported Feather Peacock Pose (Pincha Mayurasana)





















Photo by Anna-Rina





Unsupported Handstand (Adho Mukha Vrksasana)




















Photo by Joe Low





Yesterday, out of nowhere
(perhaps the motivation and desperation that it was the last day of June),
I managed to stand - or, literally.. the complete opposite of stand in this pose:

Unsupported Headstand (Niralamba Sirsasana)

























that is one of the two poses I aim to accomplish this year.


Thank you God Almighty
for lending me the strength to carry my entire body weight on my head,
for awarding me the confidence to believe that I am ready to do it,
AND
for the enlightenment that I don't need a designer handbag, a flashy car or someone else
to validate and complete my purpose of living another year in Your blessing.


Having a million ringgit, a hundred LVs and a trophy husband DO NOT COMPARE with
getting to stand on my hands seconds longer than the last time I attempted,
getting to stretch an inch further than the record I set the last time I tried AND
getting every muscle in my body to realize every instruction my mind can think of.

'When we can be thankful of the free things we already have,
then life will be simpler as we won't be asking for things we can live without.'


I have six months to work on this other pose.

























I am wishing my body and my spine:
all the best, W-E CAN!

The Day 'maybe today, we will all get to appreciate'

Dear Diary,

And so I have decided to be a little if not a lot less colourful here.
















I will share less, if not more.
It might feel less personal (although I have a feeling it will be more).
















Black & white studio photoshoot by Joe Low,
image property of The Yoga Ink Sdn Bhd,
outfit from adidas by Stella McCartney




Allow me to hold back some just so that I can give more.

The Day I Extend My Hair, My Eyelash and My Grateful List

Dear Diary,

Yes, I wish to extend my Senarai Kesyukuran (Grateful List)
on my Ninie Ahmad's (Photos & Photographers, Camera & Cameramen) Grateful List today
after her grateful list on her Batmobile and unfortunate accident last week.

• I am grateful I have and have had Malaysia's best (and most photographed) photographers as current my housemate and previous housemate (yes, you and you; Anna-Rina and Tom Hayton, I am so grateful I found you) so I never ran out of anyone to shoot me whenever I feel cute, vain or simply bored in the house

• I am grateful I have been contacted and had the privilege to have been photographed by some of Malaysia's finest and most amazing photographers (of course housemates included, not because we live together but simply because they ARE Malaysia's bests!) at Malaysia's tallest and most eventful events

by Ted Adnan, December 2008

by Tom Hayton, Yoga Conference Malaysia 2007

by Anna-Rina, KLCC

by Joe Potatoe, 2006

by Cris Chen, 2006

by Napie, January 2009

• I am grateful that I am a (visible, yes make piah fun of it but I am having fun and making money out of it) YOGA INSTRUCTOR blessed with flexibility, strength and errr, good angles
  

• or else there is NO WAY I would have graced countless local magazines as I am soooo not a fashion model, I am not an entertainment celebrity, I am not political worthy and I am soooo not a commercial let alone a cover material

• I am grateful Supertall never minds being in photos with me and that given a good camera in hand, he even takes supercool pictures!

by Supertall, F1 Singapore 2008

• I am grateful that my own lil' point-and-shoot has this supercool function to capture only a selected accent of colour

And I am actually actually most grateful
(dan timbul kesedaran untuk sambung senarai kesyukuran kategori ini)
this very hour

• for I actually and accidentally LEFT BEHIND my new IXUS at Delicious, Bangsar ViIIage like, six hours ago! Only realized it after I paid for my drink at nextdoor Starbucks Bangsar Village. I practically ran in my mini dress and heels back to Delicious only to find my camera, still waiting for me underneath the multiple hues of blue cushions I sat on (and took pictures of my food on) for a good three hours before! THANK GOD!!!

Alhamdulillah,
alhamdulillah,
alhamdulillah.


Nevertheless, like any other human being that can never be content,
if I can have one wish for this Photos & Photographers, Camera & Cameramen list
(and having watched one too every America's Next Top Model),





















I wish I wish I wish to be photographed in 'Y o g a C o u t u r e' in the nearest time
of which I'll be posing

• in either complicated designer dresses, miles of ribbons or endless heels,

• in my yoga moves BUT with intended crooked postures, with intentional unaligned poses (that Iyengar people would sue me for)

• with front fanned big hair, dramatic make-up, temporary body art

by any (errrrrrrr, of the mentioned?) photographers
with out-of-the-world ideas,
blasting lighting equipments,
golden umbrellas,
infinity backdrop et all,
any takers?

Kalau ada, alhamdulillah.
I couldn't be more grateful.


And I have a personal target
to be on the cover of SHAPE Malaysia, this year or next
and if it's not too ambitious, to also be on the cover of Yoga Journal in years to come.
Insyaallah.

If the dream is big enough, the facts don't count.

The Day Sharing's Sweet Pleasures Are..

Dear Diary,




















Sometimes some people ask,
what do I get from blogging.

If I can sum it in one entry, aside from:

- making instant friends
- getting strangers online wishing you well and praying for your success
- earning easy money from Nuffnang
(alhamdulillah, I manage to cash out RMXXX every month and
earned RMX,XXX from writing advertorials this month!),

pouring your heart out and (shamelessly) sharing your pictures online
only feel rewarded when:

1. Reading your inspirations commenting

• Hanis Zalikha said...

sumpah tengah pemalu sekarang. i'll tell you one secret ive never told anyone, not even one jiwa (soul). haha. i was your silent reader for years. you know when you had the brown layout from blogger. you said you were lazy to go and find layouts from other sites. apatah lagi nak create one. so you guna je layout brown tuh, yang macam wallpaper tuh. im not sure kalau the add of your blog now is still the same, ive lost track, because one day, you decided not to write anymore. you letak picture of your back with a tattoo on it and said your goodbyes. and recently, when ive started blogging once again (yes i used to blog for 3months, inspired by you, then hancur pemalas nak mampus untuk update dah la tak femes takde sape baca pergh bosan gila jenuh aku tulis, kawan-kawan pun tengah kemaruk friendster, bukan nak layan baca blog i), i found you! yes you ninie! yes the yoga instructor! when i was featured as nuffnang blogger of the month, and i was browsing thru who checked out my blog, then i saw THE YOGA INSTRUCTOR. hehe reunion. oke dah. mak panggil. bye. lagipun dah penat mengomel. oh oh kejap. pastu, masa i buat blog dulu, masa form3 kot, i pun teringin nak tiru your entry titles yang The Day, The Day tuh. tapi tak nak ah. tak ori. jahat jadi peniru. ya sila bangga ada orang nak tiru. haha oke bye. masih pemalu.

4:42 PM, October 15, 2008

• JoyceTheFairy said...

aww daymn woman. you crazy. your blog is memang very natural in going bla bla bla like mine too. thanks much for the compliment :) i heart yoga instructor ;) maybe next time when i have more TIME to take up yoga, you'll teach me yes? sorry rush comment cos in opis now :p

XXX

5:31 PM, October 15, 2008

• Marliza Radzi said...

aaaaawh :) I'm deeply touched. ngeeeeeeee.

1:29 PM, October 16, 2008

2. Knowing your biggest inspiration subscribed to
















3. Realizing your humble Diaries made it to

















and

























For your love and this gift,
I am blessed.



















All studio photos in this entry are property of
The Yoga Ink Sdn Bhd for Be Yoga Sanctuary.
Outfit: top from adidas, shorts from adidas by Stella McCartney
Photographer: Potatoe

The Month You Are Going To Get A Few Foreplays A Day (or whenever I feel like giving)

OCTOBER TEASERS

( DISCLAIMER: All photos are property of The Yoga Ink Sdn Bhd for Be Yoga Sanctuary.
Any reproduction must be with written permission or consent of The Yoga Ink Sdn Bhd or 'The Yoga Instructor ')

Photographer: Potatoe
Location: Studio 807, Jalan Ampang
Outfit: Both Azmi and Ninie wore adidas TechFit Powerweb

The Day I'm "Just Waiting Till The Shine Wears Off.."

Dear Diary,




















Betraying the yoga empire that has upgraded my life,
being rude the man who has given me a magazine to run,
letting my devoted students hanging in this time of trial,
leaving, DEVALUING myself and settling for other jobs that pay only 25% of what I usually make monthly,
are not my kind of options. For now..

To date, I have taught 6 classes at the zone this week,
despite my last full-paid salary was in April.

Some of you who read Page N26 The Star today,
might cringe and ask, "I thought you were paid for May, no?"
Take it from me, honey.
NO.

Last Saturday, I was handed RM300 from XX personally and be told, "Just so that you can have a good weekend," which I translated to, "Just so that you can keep your mouth shut and teach for us come Monday."

If you asked me,
being paid RM300 from RM1X,XXX that you are owed,
is an insult.

I will expect some jokers to leave comments such, "Orang bagi RM300 pendahuluan pun tak nak? Tak tau bersyukur betul anak Ahmad ni." Don't worry, you are not me. And you are not the God I thank / pray to and you are not the employer that owes me, so it's OK and I forgive you. Sweating the small stuff now doesn't save my car from getting towed.

Albeit, it sure did feel good teaching again that Monday,
it was heartfelt learning that your students left you an envelope-ful of money and baskets of fruits after the class ended,
and it was embarrassing having to have shed that tears after my first class this week, for I have to eat my own words, "Simply be happy that our body still moves, be grateful that the air and silence we are breathing are still free.."

Thanks to this highly participated blog,
I found myself listed as one of the surviving ' Last 16 ' that still teach without pay,
BUT I DON'T FIND THIS FUNNY ANYMORE
and I don't know how long more can I go on;
keeping a straight face when I am still being lied to,
smiling as I make you do painful twists when I am deeply hurt too,

I don't think it is for long now,
and my patience and 'believe' are wearing thin.




















I am living off this song to feed my spirit now,

Lost! COLDPLAY,
Vida La Vida (2008)

"Just because I'm losing,
Doesn't mean I'm lost,
Doesn't mean I'll stop,
Doesn't mean I will cross.

Just because I'm hurting,
Doesn't mean I'm hurt,
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve,
No better and no worse,

I just got lost,
Every river that I've tried to cross,
And every door I ever tried was locked,
Ooh-Oh,
And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off..

You might be a big fish,
In a little pond,
Doesn't mean you've won,
'Cause along may come,
A bigger one,
And you'll be lost.

Every river that you tried to cross,
Every gun you ever held went off,
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing starts,
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off.."

(Lost! accoustic version)

The Day That Helps, Thank You

Dearest All,




















I will still teach

TODAY (Monday, Aug 4th),
6.30pm (SlimHot)
7.45pm (Gentle Flow) at YogaZone, Plaza Damas;
and
TOMORROW (Tuesday, Aug 5th),
7.00am (SlimHot)
8.30am (Gentle Flow) at YogaZone, Plaza Damas;
6.30pm (SlimHot)
7.45pm (Gentle Flow) at YogaZone, The Weld

I am still not paid but but I decide to go on and teach FOR ONE MORE DAY without salary,
for the love of my students (truth is, I miss torturing all of you!) and for my love of yoga.

If you miss practicing yoga or even if you have missed me too ;), see you there.

I am not exactly sure how it works with the RM99 GreenYoga campaign
but, if you can and if you still believe in us, do support it.
Because your RM99 and membership renewal; feed me.

Since I posted the last entry, I feel better.
Pity (and donation!) are the last thing that I expected from that entry,
I just needed to channel out my frustration and answer to what you have heard or read,
personally.

Nevertheless, I am deeply touched and moved by your kindness and concern.














If I can mention names,

To everyone who did leave comments (I read each and every one of them) here,
to lovely Dina Zaman, Amani Athirah, Janice Tan who constantly send moral support over at Facebook
and a special mention to Ain who actually banked in MONEY to my (nevertheless, inactive) account,

to my dearest friends;
Juliana Ibrahim, Asma & Imran, Rodi, Atilia, Ida Nerina, Jehan Miskin, Megat Imran, Mira, Khai, Ba'dina, Ita, Nellie, Kak Leila & Jessica Lim from adidas, Michelle from Soul'ed Out, 7ate9 and WIP,
who called and texted to check if I'm hanging in there
(some of them even offered me to name my price in teaching them private yoga class!
Don't tempt me, in my unstable state of mind and cash flow, I might just charge RM1000 an hour, he hee..),

to my fellow struggling yoga teachers;
Azmi Samdjaga, Alex 'The Joker' Atherton, Gary Mow, Matthew, Angie, Lila, Jason and many more;
whom some of them have been evicted from their apartments,

to my sisters;
Dona and Hanim, their husbands, Faizal and Andri and my yoga goddaughter, Rania;
whose screaming over horror movie fest at my house and laughing over my over-salted fried kuey teow for lunch did help ease my pain yesterday,

to my dearest housemates;
Anna-Rina, Henry Golding and Jamie Archer;
who have been paying for my breakfasts and cheering me up with their recent (or lack-of, in Anna's case) sexual escapades;

to my dad who has never (or not yet?) asked for his money back,
my mom who learned my ordeal from NST and The Star she read on Friday
and texted me a piece of advice, "We are here for you. Come home anytime. And please stay away from Ah Long." Ha haa! Comelnya mak aku (kena puji, she might read this :P)..

to my Supertall / Saviour / Angel;
who has been taking me out for lunch and dinner for almost every day for the past six weeks (although the RM400-for-two dinner at Fisherman's Cove and the RM28 for a quail egg appetizer at The Loaf were totally unnecessary, Sayang), who has been persistently asking for me to "Takpe, you keep the change, Sayang.." everytime he pays for anything with big notes (I think he intentionally does that just so that I'd have spare notes), whom with his salary I paid my Celcom, Astro, Streamyx and petrol for the past two months, who is used to my sudden breakdown and tearing up in front of my food,

And my thanks also go to these Unsigned,















for a piece of laughter to be shared here this bleak Monday afternoon.

And just FYI,
my mom has started reading this blog after a little big bird refreshed my mom on my url.
(although she complains that my blog's small font makes it hard for her to read this.
Ahaaa, that's my whole point ;)! He hee, you know I love you, Ma..)


Thank you and God bless you all.