The Day Doncha Wish Your Housemate Was Hot Like Henry

Dear Diary,

In case you don't follow,
I have another famous housemate (since Henry dengan I kan femes),
Her name is Anna-Rina and IMHO, she is easily the most photographed photographer in Malaysia
(like how aku dengan tak humblenya selalu claim, 'I am the most visible yoga instructor in Malaysia' jugak).

Henry, Anna and I click because
- we collect three-striped shoes
- we love working-out probably as much as you love eating everything
- kami bertiga kuat berlagak dan memang super very the perasan. Perasan famous, perasan fit, perasan segalanya.

Since all three of us don't have to wake up at 5 in the morning,
queue to catch LRT to go to work and even go to work at all for that matter,
we have all the time in the world to do stuff together
(You don't get anyone else berlagak like this).

Apart from going to Deutches Gasthaus downstairs having beer every night,
smoking pot and crack at home every morning and
having threesomes in the living room every weekend,
we are also often seen;


..shamelessly posing for countless publications





































































..making faces in front of our food and drinks at Stabak, Khanna or Fatty Crab























































..rockclimbing every Wednesday without fail
(walaupun for the past five weeks, aku dengan Jehan je yang tak pernah fail datang)



















































































..yoga next to our swimming pool some random mornings



























































..whacking golf balls at driving range near our house on Sunday afternoons













































and doing monkey business especially when we have a certain supertall guest around






































(DISCLAIMER:
1. Kalau Anna takde dalam gambar, mungkin sebab dia yang ambik gambar
2. Kalau gambar tak clear, mungkin sebab bukan Anna yang ambik ambar)



If you must ask,

kenapa kau carik pasal, Ninie.
Carik housemate lelaki?
Mat Salleh pulak tu.
Dulu Tom, sekarang Henry.
Kau gatal bebenor ke?
Juling mata tengok jantan mat salleh ke?


If you can take it,

1. I stayed and grew up in an all-girl boarding school for five years. GIRLS BITCH.
And most of them watch lame DVDs and don't listen to good music
(I'm sorry but I judge you by movies and bands you worship)

2. When I used to stay at that big house at Bangsar, the rent was RM2500 a month and pening tak hengat carik, saper sanggup bayar RM2500 bahagi dua dengan aku sebulan. Not to mention, saper yang sanggup come up with almost RM5000 EACH upfront for 2+1 deposit and half-month utility bills. I couldn't ask for a better candidate than Tom at that time. Pandai cakap Melayu (sebab English aku kan lintang pukang), perangai tak macam tipikal Melayu jantan Melayu, tak juling mata tengok aku and that he worships Radiohead too.

3. When it comes to jantan, engkau Melayu ke, mat salleh ke, sunat ke, tak ke, asal berhabuk cakap omputih (supaya boleh betulkan grammar aku), asal tak kaki perempuan, asal ketiak dan hati tak busuk, boleh je cuba apply. Kalau nak lah. Cuma kalau berkenan kat aku, kena tahan lah. I am not and will never be your typical perempuan Melayu. I don't get cheap thrills getting winked by guys in shiny BMW, I don't blatantly equate bersekedudukan with zina and I don't find pleasure in hurting strangers with my words. Mungkin sembahyang aku tak selalunya cukup lima waktu, mungkin rambut aku berwarna seribu, tapi aku tau tujuan hidup aku adalah untuk jadi manusia yang baik dan berjasa kepada negara kalau aku tak mampu jadi hamba Allah yang sempurna. If you can't accept that, then you might not be the guy for me. If you can't be happy with how I live my life, then we should be thankful we are never housemates in the first place.


I end this with this,
one of my favourite songs.

"Here we are,
foreign to their world.
Straight and composed,
your sermons I can do without,
and I finally found.
That everybody loves to love you
when you're far away..

Could it be we've done something wrong,
we'd make it home to your place before dawn,
"Please, don't drive me home."
"Please, don't take me home."

Blame us 'cause we are who we are,
hate us 'cause you'll never get that far,
and who'd suppose you would go?
I've already learned enough to know."

~AT THE STARS, Better Than Ezra

Dedicated to my dearest housemates
whom I always look forward to come home to
and from their laughter and kindness, I stay this strong.