The Day I Felt Malu Gila Siyotttt!

(Disclaimer: Entry ini merupakan babak lakonan semula maka tidak perlu dibaca
oleh insan-insan ternama bernama Ida Nerina dan Afdlin Shauki.)

How in the world did you find me?
(Tai-tai di sebelah itu tiada kaitan langsung dengan
sesiapa yang bakal disebut dalam entry kali ini)

Last Thursday, Ida (people, please have it pronounced as I-da as in in 'Aida', tolong!), one of my students with the most good (why can't I just say 'best') form of postures when it comes to penetrating herself in told poses (kena puji since I know someone will still tell her and she'd still be reading this anyway), asked me to e-mail her our weekly schedules as she's been coming almost on daily basis lately.

I suggested and offered to have them photocopied for her since 'konon-konon I am not' Internet nor e-mail savvy, when I thought I heard

"Like I don't know you blog."





























Like I don't know you blog.

Excuse me?

I can't remember whether my next line (kelam kabut sikit sebab terkejut kodok kan) was either a denying "Mana ada!" or a purak-purak tak dengar "Eh, apa you cakap?" or even a purak-purak bangang "Blog tu menatang apa?", sempat pulak mempertahankan diri dengan hujah yang kurang bernas seperti:

- THAT Yoga Instructor is not me!
- She's anonymous!
- She pixelates her face!
- How could you've guessed?

when she went, "But your boobs are there."

Great. Goodness greatness me.

I immediately came to my senses that if this could happen to Faie, it could bloody hell happen to pretty much anyone else although this time around, it bloody occured to me.

How in the world did you find out?

"WHO do you think?"

Siapa? Takkan Afdlin Shauki kot?

She laughed. "Who ELSE do you think?"

NO WAYYYY!!!!!! Erkkk, yes way?

YES WAY, I did fall asleep halfway watching midnight show of Baik Punya Cilok but I was still half awake when I saw Ida in a Polis Diraja Malaysia uniform. Apa tujuan scene tu, aku sumpah tak ingat, mata dah ya ampun beratnya masa tu (I don't even recall seeing that scene on the right, mesti dah selamat masa tu). Tak cukup dengan tu, teringat pulak a scene from Gerak Khas The Movie 2 (or was it 3?) where if I'm not mistaken, Ida played a hot hot hot hot female mafia and Afdlin played a cameraman (kan?) and, they'd be in the next Actorlympics together.

Is not that you in purple, girl?

Where have I put my brain? They must be one another's accomplice if not the best of friends!

But there's no way, not in my wildest dream can they two Malaysia's biggest movie stars, most prominent actors talk about little mini small tiny ants like me.

"He loves your blog (Afdlin, even if you didn't say this, but just by knowing you do did read me makes my day) and don't worry, it's not ALWAYS I baca blog you." She finished that line with a smirk and a wink. Mahalllll tu!

At first I smiled, blushed and then laughed in disbelief covering my face. Then I recalled something thoughtless I wrote some while ago and shrieked in terror. The thought of knowing 'she must've read that one' hit my chest hard and caused my hands to fumble.


I take that back. Unlike even more bald browed and toyol-nessresque me, you don't need them to look your best in class, silverscreen, stage or for us to feel the force of your presence. I've been a fan since Selubung, turned on by Layar Lara, fell in love since I first saw you staging Visits which I soon learnt was your directorial debut and it was your tears that made me cry in Sepet.

It's a real honor to have touched your spine
(to tell you the truth, I still quiver whenever I needed to correct you),

and you'd make me feel like a star myself too if you could just spend a few minutes after your next class to help and try with me that entwined handstand in downward dog I showed you in that Partner Yoga book.



Bottomline: MALUNYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!