The Day I Finally Understand

Dear Diary,








I GIVE UP.









I finally understand their arguments
and to why, they insist on banning yoga.
I finally admit and eventually came to realize that

YOGA IS DANGEROUS AND THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER.

If I can share my facts and findings,


Fact #1:
Yoga is a cult and its' obedient followers possess superpower
that enables them to fly

everywhere













on garbage bins (pengotor!)



















at parks (tak senonoh!)



















at bowling arena (berlagak!)















on some bright red sofa (aku dah habis idea nak mengutuk apa dah!)





















Fact #2:
Yoga evidently has the effect to make one lose their head,
to make one forget that they are human,
to make one go crazy and imitate every possible thing around them

Like these Fishes















and this lamp post



















Tuhan bagi amanah jadik orang,
kau nak jugak jadik tiang lampu, apahal?
Takde otak ke, takde tulang belakang?



Fact #3:
Dedicated yoga practitioners are mostly cursed
and have been turned into

either being a short, black and ugly Scorpion


















or a heavy-chested female Cobra













or a One Legged Pigeon



















and even a pink karer Eagle





















Fact #4:
Yoga makes one do impossible things
humans are never meant to do

Fly













Stretch in 4-inched heels



















Blog with their legs wide open













Split on their mom's dining table



















Stand on their hands














Kepit botak people's head and make them smell your feet














A 73-year-old man to stand on his head




















Fact #5:
Yoga makes one feel they are more flexible and superior than everyone else

hence one's tendency to dislocate the shoulder of that colleague they don't favour



















or break the spines of Channel [V] VJs that they have always envied














and attempt to sprain the wrists of
Malaysia's most famous blogger
they wish to have had his tits hits




















Fact #6:
Yoga is a cult and
a two-faced sorceress witch who blogs and brags herself as
the nation's most visible instructor can turn

a Superman,















a multi-talented songbird,



















Indonesia's heartthrob bandmembers















and even a chicken (ayam KFC tapi pinjam kasut Ronald McDonald)



















into Trees!


Hence you should be scared,
be verrrrrrrryyyyyyy scared now.