The Weekend I Was Constantly Mistaken

Who, me?

FRIDAY: Me VS Dayang

Gorgeous MK offered me VIP tickets to accompany her to watch last Friday's One In A Million at Sri Pentas 2. I gladly agreed as I've always wanted to see and witness bar none the best contentant of a reality singing competiton so far, Dayang and the future John Mayer of Malaysia (suka hati aku laa, kan?), Faizal singing and rocking my world, live.

Little did we know that ours were VVIP tickets and our designated seats were DIRECTLY BEHIND and to the left (which is to why you didn't see me and my killer new V.V. lowcut top :D) of Paul Moss! Well, that aside..

for the thing is, to date I've had 18 people saying I look like Cheryl Samad and 23 to hearing I'm a little bit like Dayang Nurfaizah (cuba lah kata macam Jessica Alba ke, sedap sikit hati ;P).

So when Dayang was there, right before me, mesmerizing us all with her soulful rendition of Because You Loved Me, I went like; other than our 'sunkissed tan' (I've always lurveee this term), blonde streaked hair and our petite figure, yang lain tang mana yang sama pun aku tak tau. Oh, our voice you mean? He hee..

SATURDAY: The Yoga Instructor VS The Corporate Wh%$@

Had a photoshoot with a female magazine where they initially planned to dress me up looking LEAST like a yoga instructor, and they will have six guys to guess what do they think I work as. Sounds like me corny I know, but I hardly say 'No' to magazine shoots for it is not everyday you get to feel like a star the pros to do your hair and make-up for free and it is not always you get to feel like a model wear and be photographed in killer dresses!

At first, I was jolly happy when they dolled me up in this chic green knee-length trenchcoat dress with some splendid chunky beaded necklace paired with adoi makkk cantiknya peep-toe heels although they kept asking me to pose with a fierce face, screaming, "You are NOT a yoga instructor! You are a successful businesswoman!" throughout.

Thank God to never have missed a single episode of America's Next Top Model, I flaunted assets and embellished angles that I think I looked best but it seemed that, EVERY move I made, EVERY twirl I twist showed if not only magnified the curves of my muscular (lah sangat..) calves!

They made me change the lovely trenchcoat dress (ooh, heartbreak..) to a black sleeveless sequinned top and a floral skirt but even then, each and every stance I posed in always ended with, "No can do! Noooo, no, no. We can see your biceps. We have to wrap her up." Wrap me WHAT? I worked soooooooooooooo hard to get 'em this hard and now, I'm the one giving you problem ijjit?

You know what they made me settle for? A bright NY taxi yellow tweed jacket with monumental yellow buttons and belt paired with horizontally striped long pants two sizes too big for me. From their Mac monitor, I was almost certain that I looked like a mushroom cupcake. I didn't tell you that they made me wear realllllllllll red mak ngah lipstick too, did I?

If any of the guys guessed me as over-accesorized headmistress / retired insurance agent turned mother of six ke, aku nangis okkkkk..

SUNDAY: Ciken VS MILF?

I suspected that my 9 year old brother is having chickenpox hence I brought him over to our clinic a few hours ago.

I wasn't thinking when the acceptably cute doctor asked, "Mak dia dah pernah kena ke belum?"
I bluntly answered, "I'm not sure."
"Ait, takkan you tak ingat?"
Not that I know of lah kan obviously, kalau aku dah tak sure tu..
"Manalah tau doc, kot-kot I belum lahir lagi masa tu ke.."
Wait. WAIT.

'Mak dia'?
"Oh. OHHHHH!!! Tak, tak! Dia ni ADIK saya, doc!"
(Laugh. Saper yang blur pun aku tak tau.)
"I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! Ya, Allah.. I didn't mean it!!"
Was it just me or he really became over-friendly after that?

* * * * * * *

Tapi paling best sekali kan, when people compare and mistaken me with,


Heh heh..

T-h-a-t, counters 'em Dayang, yellow cupcake and mak orang all.
Capital ALL.