The Mother's Day, MY Mother's Mother's Day

When they are in Plow Pose,
I do what I do best.
I go and check, ada tak Visible Panty Line.
(He hee, sorry Petite. Not you lah, I love you!)

I don't usually wear (sanitary) pads when I get my period simply because 95% of my underwear are G-strings (I'm not shouting 'How Me Sexy?' here, but VPL is just simply unsightly, people!) therefore I swear by O.B. tampons with help of Carefree G-string pantyliner when it comes to my red time of the month. No matter how you and you keep saying "Kau punya G-string macam getah ikat rambut halus dia, comfortable ke?", it is LAGI uncomfortable to pakai 'skinny jeans' (cue SATC Season 6) / seluar ketat tapi boleh nampak line seluar dalam. Giler hideous! Bughok! Not to mention, penggunaan tampon adalah 'lebih kemas', 'tidak berkecah' and 'tak busuk'.

But eversince my mom is currently very much into this herbal sanitary pads and pantyliner she has just recently ventured in, she has been forcing me to (at first to join the 'magic pad MLM' but since I keep giving excuses after excuses) try this 'magical invention' by the Japs. Apparently, they reduce period pain, blood odour and all the what not. Apparently..

Heh, yoga has eliminated my period pain ALL THE WAY three weeks after I first tried it (yoga) for the first time and that was some six years ago I've forgotten what period pain feels like. Sorry ye, berlagak sikit. Banyak lagi magiknya yoga ni (tapi kepada semua yang e-mail I, sorry ye. Kelas I full laa! Cuba try beli Her World tiap-tiap bulan, or mulakan dengan VCD Yoga for Beginners dulu. Kalau ada opening, I cepat-cepat get back to you, ok?).

Eh, lari topik pulak. Back to my mom and her 'magic' pad, after her 'modal' of keupayaan lessening period pain didn't work for me, in true sound of a typical Malay mother (regardless the fact that she's an English lecturer) she started-lah with her, "Lepas tu kan...... kalau selalu pakai pad ni selang-selikan dengan pantyliner dia, nanti awak punya kat bawah tu makin ketat!"

For someone who is not /never been married belum beranak lagi, I almost blurted, "SIAPA KATA TAK KETAT?" when I realized it was my garang mother I was talking to and it came to my senses that, wait...

May I rephrase this whole paragraph? Now,

for someone who teaches Kegel exercise and how-to squeeze the 'flower' and the 'yoni' to women in her yoga class, I politely told my mom that I just don't buy and totally against the idea that kacip-fatimah-jamu-herbalpadlancausegala can make you feel (literally ke?) like a virgin again as much as I pity women who buy and rely on slimming pills to lose weight. For both problems ('kurang cengkaman' dan 'ada longgokan spare tyre'), you can always EXERCISE and WORK OUT, or should I say, work IT out?

Alaaa, lari topik lagi...

So towards the end, bila her 'ketat' prototype pun tak jalan, she planted her last kopek reasoning, that ACTUALLY got me coaxed and tantalized and I know you will too! And so she said

"Yang paling best sekali kan (A)long, bila pakai rasa macam ada air-cond kat bawah tu! Tahan 12 jam pulak tu!"

Ye lahh, no woman in their right mind would wear the same pad for 12 hours kecuali kalau pengotor gila kan but all I'm trying to say here is, other than because
- it was Mother's Day,
- I love my mom very much
- mother knows best (?)
as I AM using the herbal (I'm putting on hold the word 'magical' tu until proven magical) pad with one of my 5% non-G-string panty, is..

Seriously, ada air-cond siotttt!!